I must admit that today I was very upset, couldn't stop crying. I just want to be the Sara I was before I had cancer. Since 3 years ago next month my health seems to have been in a steady decline. I have never in my life been so fat, unfit and unhealthy. I feel so ugly all through.
Today I did wonder what the point of it all was, I really couldn't see what quality of life I have anymore. I really did lose my fight today.
So I thought about Mike Peters, I thought about other friends, had a good cry, a good moan and then came back fighting!
This year has been a difficult one for me on a lot of levels. You would have thought that 2009 or 2010 would have been worse but having finished the radical part of cancer treatment I am suddenly plunged in at the deep end tryind desperately to stay afloat.
On 14th May I lost the lynch pin of our family, my Auntie Heather. Very suddenly at the age of 65. She has always been a part of my life, always been there for us all giving support freely. Such a kind and loving person with a wicked sense of humour, I still can't believe that she is no longer with us.
I was let down by people I thought were my friends this year too. They told lies about me and attacked me on FB without due cause. If those people have the audacity to read my blog then you know who you are and shame on you.
I would refer to yet another Mike Peters song at this point so take heed and listen if you dare.
"I've been accused of being things I'm not......"
On top of this I have had a couple of cancer scares coupled with excrutiating back pain which has led me to give up my running, walking and riding.
The year finishes on the note it started.
However, in January I have a scheduled bone scan which is purely precautional, I have an orthopedic appointment to look into my back problems and my mammogram which I hope will declare me 3 years in remission!
The pain killers my doctor has prescribed me are working so once this stupid infection is gone I am hoping to be climbing the rosy slopes to good health!
See you in the new year!