Friday, 31 December 2010

Christmas Phew!!!

My life has been all mixed up for the last three weeks with the run up to Christmas and all of the arrangements. I have had a thoroughly wonderful Christmas which was actually WHITE this year and now I am ready to get back into the routine of life.

I had my unltrasound scan the Wednesday before Christmas and am waiting for the results. They spotted a fibroid which might be the cause of all of my problems but my ovaries were clear! I can't believe it having been diagnosed with Polycycstic Ovary Syndrome before I had the children. I am wondering if the chemo actually cleared my ovaries and thats why my body has gone into overdrive. Who knows? I just want to sort this problem out.

I am worried about my mum though as she is all out of sorts and not looking her usual self. I think Christmas time brings back memories and when you have lost a child and your parents, it must hurt so badly. I know that when I was on FB just before Christmas there was a bit of banter going on about what are your best Christmas memories and I started to think about them.... I got very sad, very angry because I realised just how much I miss my big brother Peter. He may have been dead for 20 years but sometimes it feels like 20 minutes.

I have decided not to go near FB for the next few days. I find new year and the way people treat it quite maudling and I would rather not put myself through it all in my own home. I don't want to look at the past and what has happened, I want to look to the here and now and the future....

So I am sitting here, Carry On Camping on the television and a dog on each side. The children are happy playing and all is peaceful for now.

I have decided that 2011 is going to be my year..............

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Dr Soe

This week has been a bit of a muddle really. I turned up for my oncologist appointment on Monday only to find out that I wasn't due there until Wednesday.

I had a long wait to see Dr Soe, scarey really at the age range of patients waiting to see various surgeons etc. Made me feel like a child!!

Dr Soe was very pleasant although I much prefered Dr Champion, she was direct and outspoken but you knew exactly where you were with her. Dr Soe is so quiet and gentle and I always struggle to understand him. Anyway, he was happy with my situation and explained that the Tamoxifen is causing menopausal symptoms, it doesnt mean that I am going through the menopause.... He is going to expidite my abdominal scan and praised my GP for taking the right action.

I won't have to see Dr Soe again until December 2011 and after that I will be left in the care of the surgeons. Its all good news, I feel as though I have lived in the unit for 22 months so to have all of this free time is liberating.

After doing my 10K race I hit a bit of a slump. Craving all of the wrong food, having no get up and go. Glad to say that I got it back today and feel very much like myself again.

I have changed gyms because I feel that I have outgrown my old gym, its very small and I want something which will be challenging for me. I have also decided to give a low GI diet a go because I am fed up of diets and want to do something which all of the family can do with me.

My eldest son has decided that he quite likes running having done it at school so I have promised him that I will start to train him.

I have also decided to get my business up and running again although I wont be working evenings as I did before and I will limit myself to one day only.

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Tatton Yule Yomp -12th December 2010

Today was the day.... I have been training for this day for a long time, even running on ice in sub zero temps. I was ready to run my first 10K. It should have been done on 1st March 2009 but cancer kind of got in the way. I finished my treatment in October 2010 and I must admit some of the side effects are starting to get better such as the aching joints and hands.

Today it was all about sticking the V's up to cancer and drawing a line under the last 22 months. I was also raising money for the Love Hope Strength Foundation because not only is it a global cancer charity but its co-founder Mike Peters has got me through my own fight with cancer because of his music, his tenacity, his positivity and the fact he will never give up.
 I have managed to raise over £700 for the charity. I was going to dress up as Rudolph but as it was my first official race I decided to wear the names of fellow cancer fighers on my back. Sadly, some of those fighters are not with us now but remain with us in spirit and love.
 There were some crazy fancy dress costumes as you can see by the photo above! Amazing! There was such a lovely feel to the event, it was well organised and friendly. My nerves of last night needn't have got the better of me. There was freezing fog which was terribly hard to run in, alot harder than sub zero temperatures. The fog got to my chest and set off an asthma attack but I kept going. I hooked up with a guy called Andy half way through as he was struggling. If I had carried on alone I know I could have improved my time by 10 mins but sometimes, other things are more important, and people are more important to me than times or personal bests. He thanked me for my companionships, told me he would never have got around if it werent for me.
Crossing that line was amazing. All of Andys friends were shouting for him and I egged him on. My name came over the tannoy and I was handed my medal, something I will treasure forever.

A big and huge thank you to my lovely friend Lesley Kenton who not only took me to the race but sat there waiting for me in the freezing cold, took photos for me and was there to cheer me on over the finish line. That meant the world to me, thank you Lesley xxx

Not too sweaty but damp because of the freezing fog. My chest hurts right now but I have time to recover. I now need to set a new challenge for myself....... what will it be???

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Almost There!!!

Well, not long to go now! Only 4 more sleeps and I will be doing my first 10K running race in Tatton Park. The race is called Tatton Yule Yomp and its 6.2 miles of running through parkland. I am looking forward to it because I will be (in the words of Mike Peters) "right back where I started from" before cancer.

I am writing the names of fellow fighters onto pink ribbons and pinning them to my running jacket. Nimblerunner gave me the idea and while I was out on my 3 mile run this morning I was battling with mental fatigue. I thought of all the people who have touched my life through cancer and all of those who have supported me by sponsoring me and that got me through the mental barrier. I thought that it would be good to wear those peoples name with pride on Sunday, that way you will all be with me.

Training has been hit and miss because of school holidays and the weather of course. Running in sub zero temps has been hard work. Trying to run on black ice has been tiring as well. I am not a fast runner. I can manage a 3 mile run in 36 minutues and a 6 mile in about an hour and 20 - I wished I was faster but I am short and I have just finished 20 months of cancer treatment so I should give myself a break shouldnt I?

Ah well, I am not sure if I will be able to get pictures on the day because I think I will leave the boys at home but we will see.