Friday, 24 February 2017
Sunday, 11 December 2016
...... you can do it.
I wear a silver thumb ring with that inscription.
Today I was encouraged to look at myself... to think aboutmy biggest fears and to challenge them.
My biggest fear is failure.
Failure to be a good mum, daughter, wife, person...... everything really and the trouble with this is that I get to set the standards which are unbelievable high.
I then looked at my thumb ring and considered the inscription and realised that my fear was holding all of my dreams back.
I then thought of how I encourage youngsters to reach for their dreams because they can do it and realised that I was giving advice that I can't follow because of my fear.
So I am going to focus on overcoming my fear and start to reach for the stars with both hands.
So what is your fear? Are you going to challenge it too?
Saturday, 29 October 2016
Cola is 25 years old. Last year he was diagnosed with Cushings disease. Since then, he has been taking prascend and last week he had blood tests done which shows that the disease is under control.
To be honest with you, he doesn't look like a typical Cushings horse because he has a shiny coat which is normal in thickness and not at all curly.
He has a bad back, or hips to be precise but I am so lucky to have a friend who is a Mctimoney practitioner. When doing her training, she used Cola as a guineapig especially as he had a complicated and very old injury. Since then she has been treating him on a regular basis.
Friday, 28 October 2016
All of my life I have struggled with personal image. Too ugly, ears like a monkey, stick legs, fat legs.... you name it and I have thought it about myself.
Then this disease started battling with me and it robbed me of the few things that I actually liked about myself like my long slim fingers, my hair, my boobs.
Recently I had a minor op and I have had to use a special cream. One day as I was using the cream it just struck me that in actual fact... my body wasn't me.
I know this sounds daft and crazy but my body really isn't me. It's a house for my soul and it allows me to live on this mortal plain.
I am the caretaker of this house which works very hard to serve my soul and the least I can do is love, admire and respect it.
My poor body has been hated and disliked for so many years and yet it's fought incredibly hard to keep functioning for my sake.
I must have business to deal with on earth before my soul is set free.
Wednesday, 28 September 2016
Sitting in my car with a cup of coffee, watching the cars and vans whoosh past on the highway above me.... People living their lives and going about their daily business.
We live in such stressful times where money is king and technology is its queen. Technology which allows us to connect and yet be unconnected in all but a few special cases.
So absorbed in the royalty so confined and defined by them we forget our true purpose in life and with that, the real meaning.
To help us feel connected we take part in mindfulness exercises, designed to help us relax in the minimum amount of time in order to maximise our useful purpose in the machine that is society.
How did our for bearers live without such a system?
They practiced mindfulness throughout their daily lives. No machine to wash clothes so they used boards and stones to scrub and scrub... No bread machines or ready sliced loaves to buy from the local tesco so they would pummel and knead and bake....
Although poor in pocket they were rich in spirit.
How I wish life could once again be that simple
Thursday, 22 September 2016
As I lie here contemplating my day, I am blessed with bird song and sun together with a crisp autumn breeze.
Life is a treasure.
I haven't posted for a while. The black dog has had me firmly in his grip. Anxiety levels have been extreme, self doubt, self hate and feeling unworthy.
It's a hard and constant fight.
Going out of the door in the morning is a struggle although nobody would guess it because they are greeted with a smile and merry chatter but gosh.... the pretence is exhausting so socialising in the evening is something that I avoid these days.
Some friends will understand this and quietly accept the stormy sea I am travelling with a watchful eye ready to cast out a life boat if necessary and every now and again, showing me their light to remind me of their presence.
Other friends don't understand why my journey is so difficult or why I haven't called into their port yet. They see the mighty waves I am battling as mere sea.... but they haven't encountered the devilish waves sent to scupper me.
This is my journey though and I must concentrate on my course and keeping my battered ship intact.
I appreciate my beacons for they offer hope. The impatient ports can wait for I am not sure that I will ever dock there even when I find more settled seas.