Friday, 2 March 2018
Although my reconstruction last April was a success because of my 2015 experience they were not able to do a normal job. My plastic surgeon explained that i am a work in progress. I know that I have more surgeries ahead of me but I can't think that far ahead.
So... Following our house flood we are back at Llyndir Hall Hotel and it's got a pool.
Today, I ventured into the pool and had a little swim.
It was a shock to experience how weak my body has become but at least now I have made this first step back to my normality i can aim to get stronger and fitter at a slow pace.
Today, I feel accomplished.
Sunday, 15 October 2017
No-one ever tells you how hard it is to let your children go. It's one of those taboo subjects that never gets talked about.
To see them leave home, fully independent hurts like nothing ever experienced before. It's like having your heart ripped out.
The fact that they don't need you anymore. The fact that once you were the centre of their world and now you're not.
Oh the tears they flow and my heart it hurts.
Saturday, 29 July 2017
I am struggling with life at the moment.
You would think that being cancer free and having had successful breast reconstruction that my life would be peachy..... but its not.
My way of dealing with bad things in life is to not think about it, just crack on with life and keep smiling but I guess its not the best way to deal with things especially if it puts you in the position I am in today.
This morning, my mind has been wandering and it suddenly hit me, just for a moment because thats all my mind allowed me, the enormity of what's happened to me.
It was like having a cold shower.
It was as though I was standing at a window looking at someone elses life.
Did that all really happen to me? Is this new body really mine?
The mind is a funny thing in the way it protects you.
I guess that now is the time for me to accept that what happened, actually did so that I can heal and put the past back in its place where it needs to be.
Monday, 24 April 2017
Thursday, 2 March 2017
My mum always had great advice at hand for dealing with my children and I think thats one of the things I miss the most now that she is gone. That and being able to talk to her and let off steam and her knowing exactly how I feel without me saying one word and despite the fact I have a false smile on my face.
Now I understand how she became so wise...... Life! Life is what made her wise. With each event in your life be it good or bad, you grow and you adapt and you become that much stronger.
Then all of a sudden, you hit a point when you realise that you are giving out advice to others and helping them with their problems. You are offering those wise little quotes to help another cope with something in their life.
One of my mums favourite sayings and one of mine too.... " You have to learn to bend in the wind..." Basically, a supple tree bends in the wind so that it doesn't snap, a rigid pole will break in two.
I have learnt to bend in the wind, I have weathered a fair few storms and hurricanes during my life and if I hadn't learnt to adapt and change I would have snapped in two long ago.
Life is good.
Life is precious.
We are blessed.
Friday, 24 February 2017
Sunday, 11 December 2016
...... you can do it.
I wear a silver thumb ring with that inscription.
Today I was encouraged to look at myself... to think aboutmy biggest fears and to challenge them.
My biggest fear is failure.
Failure to be a good mum, daughter, wife, person...... everything really and the trouble with this is that I get to set the standards which are unbelievable high.
I then looked at my thumb ring and considered the inscription and realised that my fear was holding all of my dreams back.
I then thought of how I encourage youngsters to reach for their dreams because they can do it and realised that I was giving advice that I can't follow because of my fear.
So I am going to focus on overcoming my fear and start to reach for the stars with both hands.
So what is your fear? Are you going to challenge it too?