This morning I had two "virtual" meetings. The first was a section catch up which was over quite quickly and the second was my team meeting which we have twice a week.
These are done on an online platform which works really well. I think this is the way forward for meeting, much better than the old telephone skype messenger systems back in my "buyer" days which is when I remember the technology starting to advance.
I look forward to our twice weekly meetings even though the one at the start of the week has begun to get a bit grim with serious faces (must be that Monday feeling). By Thursday/Friday with the weekend approaching things are more like they are in real life. We usually have a quiz but I think that has fallen by the way side which is a shame because while I am tied to my laptop in my shed its something I enjoy putting together and look forward to some light relief from my seclusion. Maybe next week or maybe just I myself will do the quiz.
Today has been busy with hotel cancellations, home workers requesting stationery, reviewing stationery admin..... I like it when its busy.
The weather has broken here in the UK. Thankfully the humidity of the past few days has gone but rain has fallen continuously through the morning.
Last night at 9pm I made the decision to clip my Mini Schnauzer Wilbur. He is over 12 years old and had recently had surgery for a tumour on his gum. A heart murmur was discovered and since the start of the year his behaviour has changed..... much more clingy to me, heavy breathing etc. Last night he was panting. Hadn't wanted to clip him previously because of his sore gums but last night I couldn't watch him suffer. Anyhow, today he is covered up with a fleece blanket and my heater is on. This country's weather system is crazy.
Back in January 2009, I was about to start to groom a dog when I discovered the lump in my breast. I carried on with my job as if nothing had happened but I must admit it was a dreadful time. Once I was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of weeks later, I had to make the heart breaking decision to close my business. I physically would not be able to work after surgery and chemotherapy and certainly could not risk the chance of infection. The side effects of treatments and then a second breast cancer has left me with chronic back and joint pain for which I have to take pain killers. Funnily enough though, running is one thing which actually helps my pain. I honestly didn't think I would ever be able to work again as a dog groomer and my heart was heavy. I felt completely robbed and even more so when I discovered a groomers had started up in my village.
After a lot of thought and consideration I have decided to relaunch my business again, except that this time I will be offering a mix of mobile dog grooming, on site dog grooming, dog walking and pet care to include small animals and horses.
My pain is under control as long as I manage it properly and take my medications regularly so I am hoping I can do this. I was honoured to have been asked to organise and judge the dog show at the annual St Peters School fete which took place today. It was such fun and I got a real buzz out of talking "shop" with fellow dog owners.
I have already had quite a bit of interest shown in my company Clippers and Claws and I am hoping that within this year I will have a workshop and I can get my business going well again. Its been scarey and I am still scared about getting back into grooming after such a long time. Although the truth is I have always groomed throughout - my dogs and those of my friends. Plus its something I love doing with all of my heart. For a while after my cancer treatment finished I have been acting like a victim.... Well enough is enough because I am not a victim, cancer has not taken anything from me in fact it has given me so much more..... more strength and determination not to mention the wonderful friends I have met along the way.
I was diagnosed in 2009 with a nasty breast cancer. Having said that, ALL cancers are flippin' nasty aren't they!!
2012 I had a second breast cancer, other side this time!
I don't carry the breast cancer gene, I don't tick any of the boxes for being at risk of the disease, I suppose I was just a bit unlucky.
Anyway.... blah blah blah I had lots of treatment, surgeries, chemo, herceptin, radiotherapy and hormone treatment.
I was on tamoxifen at first but because another hormone sensitive cancer grew in spite of this they changed my hormone treatment to;
* having my ovaries shut down with monthly injections (for 5 years)
* letrozol
Well..... the thought of having abdominal injections every month for years didn't really appeal to me PLUS the fact that the injections put me into a chemically induced menopause so in 5 years would I come off the injections then go through a natural menopause???? The thought of going through all that twice really filled me with dread so I PUSHED (and I had to push hard) to have an elected Oophorectomy - the best thing I ever did!! Keyhole surgery - recovery time was quicker than my breast ops and the discomfort was minimal.
The letrozol made every bone in my body hurt so I was changed to Arimadex. Although that it is better than the letrozol it still makes me tired, my brain fuzzy and my bones hurt.
On Thursday I am waiting to see my GP to go through some statistics so that I can decide whether or not I continue with the drugs.
My gut feeling is that I have had my ovaries removed which produced 80% of my oestrogen and with me losing weight and toning up my body I will naturally produce less.
I have been on cancer treatment for almost 5 years now, I have lost so much during that time and the side effects have been so hard to live with that I honestly can't face further treatment for another 4 years.
I am extremely lucky to live in Wales, UK so I have the NHS and the North Wales Health Trust has provided me with the best care I could ever have wished for. They are thorough beyond belief and leave no stone unturned.
I honestly want to get on with my life.
Back in 2009 I had to shut down my successful Dog Grooming Business "Clippers and Claws". Living with the side effects I have been unable to restart it and now another groomer has opened in our village. I am angry, I feel cheated and frustrated. If it hadn't been for flippin cancer I would have a salon right now and a successful one too.
So I have to put my frustration to one side and stay focused on the fact that;
1. I am alive
2. I can still groom dogs only not as many at the moment
3. I am taking very positive steps to cure my back pain
This time last week I was still in the operating theatre having my Ooporectomy. A week has gone by and I don't regret it for a moment. It was the right thing to do and now I have the rest of my life to look forward to with no cancer baggage weighing me down in the form of monthly Zolodex injections.
This picture was taken a couple of days after the surgery. This is the op site on my right side, there is a smaller one on my left and one inside my naval.
The stitches are disolveable so no worries there about having them taken out.
The stitches are starting to break up now and I will be glad when they have gone because the op sites are sore. It's not too bad really its just that I worry about infection.
My lumpectomies and nodal sweep operations were far more painful than this op so I am hoping to be back in some sort of action in a week.
So the future for me is bright! No more Zolodex injections! (note to self: must phone the district nurse to let her know!).
I am looking forward to getting back into work, getting my dog grooming business up and running again.
Funny title for a post really but it kind of describes the last few weeks for me perfectly.
Since Snowdon Rocks its been a strange time, lots of changes, lots of challenges and lots of worries.
The first thing that happened was the Rossett Village Fete and I judged the dog show. I was really nervous because its a popular show but once I got into the swing of things I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I know what I could have done better so hopefully, if they have me back next year (which I hope they do) it will much improved.
One of the ideas I have is for a cup or a rosette called the Love Hope Strength Pet of the Year. Basically, well before the show I would be giving out entry forms for people to nominate their pet for the award. All I would be asking for is their reasons as to how their pet has given them Love Hope and Strength. All entry fees taken would go to the charity itself and the winner would be chosen before the show and presented there. I would also like to put up a display board of all the entries as well.
I would also change some of the classes and definitely include one for young handler.
The same day as the show I came down with a virus. I was ill for over a week with a tummy bug, I have never been so ill with a bug in my life. I couldn't eat or even drink for days. How I did the show I don't know I think it was just through grim determination.
My youngest son started High School.
He is pictured here with his friend. We are neighbours and they were born within weeks of each other. Its nice that they have each other to go to school with.
It has been a big change for me because I now no longer have to do the school run. This gives me almost and extra hour a day!!!
Wilbur is still poorly! He developed a new infection in his side and has been treated with antibiotics but as soon as we finish a course it swells up again.
I took him to the vet on Friday and because not much fluid came out when she aspirated it she recommended leaving him for a week and monitor the swelling, it could be the natural healing process. He is happy in himself.... eating, playing, barking!!
I have had to find the money to cover the enormous vet bill we had from his previous illness. The insurance company Animal Friends wouldn't pay the bill because although I took Wilbur to the vet after the exclusion period, the vets notes said "Wilbur has been off colour for a week" they are saying that it takes us into the exclusion period.
I wouldn't have agreed to the MRI scan had I known the insurance company wouldn't pay, I just didn't think! This is the reason you take out these policies!
I have been selling off my Steiff Bear Collection to raise funds to cover the bills and we are getting there slowly but it has been a huge weight on my shoulders.
I am so frustrated because its put us in an even tighter financial situation and I am not quite well enough to return to work. I could get a part time job in an office but that would give us child care issues and my heart is set on returning to dog grooming which is the job I love. However, I can't see me being able to cope as a mobile groomer so then I have to think about financing a salon.
I have been for genetic counselling and I have decided to get tested for the breast cancer genes. I feel that it is better to have the question answered than not. I have agreed to take part in a research programme, you never know it might help them to find out why these things happen especially as I was young and have had two breast cancers.
Whenever I go to these types of appointments I end up having a down day and Friday was the day for me. I might add that I had my Zolodex injection on the Monday so hormones may have had a part to play in it. The Zolodex injection flippin hurt, I nearly hit the roof and even the nurse was upset for me. I am going to see my GP and ask for the injection to be changed to monthly because the needle is smaller.
So.... it has been a bit of a funny few weeks as you can see.
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Anyone who knows me knows how crazy I am about my animals. I make sure that they are cared for and as part of that, I make sure that they are insured.
Up until December 2011 I was with Direct Line Insurance for both of my dogs, had been with them for years. With pay cuts and costs rising I thought it would be a good idea to shop around and see if I was getting a competative quote.
I ended up changing my insurers to Animal Friends Insurance. Their colourful and friendly adverts pulled me in together with the fact that they donated to charity with each new policy. I felt safe.
In January my dog Wilbur took ill, I honestly thought he was going to die and his illness went on for weeks. I paid hundreds of pounds in vet bills until at last he needed an MRI scan and I knew that I would have to use my insurance company, who on earth can afford £2000 these days? I am going through cancer treatment for goodness sake and am not able to work!!!!
Wilbur was treated and thankfully made a good recovery! Sigh of relief?????? Yes and No!
The insurance company refused my claim on a technicality.
I have insured my animals for years and will continue to do so until they die. I have paid thousands and thousands of pounds in premiums but that was ok because I knew my animals would be safely covered should anything out of the blue happen.
How wrong I have been.
I have since read online reviews on them and wished I had done so earlier, I have learnt my lesson the hard way.
I have appealed against their decision but I dont think I stand a chance.
So I am left with a bill I can't afford to pay if I hadn't had insurance for Wilbur I wouldn't have gone ahead with the operation.
Well, I am not introducing you to the Snowy owned by the legondary Tin Tin...... However I must admit, the Snowy I AM introducing is named after that dog although she is a she and not a he.
She was born on 6th December 2011 in Bradford. Her mum is called Olga and her dad is called Demon. She came to live with us when she was 12 weeks old. Are you ready?.................
This picture was taken shortly after she came to live with us.
She is a white Miniature Schnauzer!
The Kennel Club has only recognised the white minis for two years and so they are very rare. Snowy caused quite a bit of excitement at the vets because nobody had seen one in the flesh before.
Pickles keeps her distance and growls at her alot, she doesnt dislike her, she is just flexing her muscles and showing her that she is the Alpha female in this pack.
Wilbur has made friends with her and they play continuously all day long. Digging holes, chewing sticks, playing chase - its amazing to watch!
and this picture was taken of her yesterday. Don't you just love those ears, she is totally just like Tin Tins little dog.
Words fail me! I never, ever believed that I would witness something like this in my country!
This is total anarchy like I have never seen in my life before and its spreading throughout the country.
I am really worried.
I am also thoroughly disgusted at the mentality of the rioters. One teenage girl was saying "that will show the rich ones with businesses" excuse me, but I ran my own business before I was ill and I am not rich just a hard working, honest and respectable British citizen.
I was especially touched by the furniture shop which has been going for 140 years, its survived two great wars and now its gone in 45 minutes it was burned to the ground.
People are in tears and in shock.
They are drafting more police into London but where does that leave the rest of the country?
I wonder if the Prime Minister is regretting cutting all of those police jobs now? I wonder if he will do a U turn on cutting police pay and conditions?
This week has been a bit of a muddle really. I turned up for my oncologist appointment on Monday only to find out that I wasn't due there until Wednesday.
I had a long wait to see Dr Soe, scarey really at the age range of patients waiting to see various surgeons etc. Made me feel like a child!!
Dr Soe was very pleasant although I much prefered Dr Champion, she was direct and outspoken but you knew exactly where you were with her. Dr Soe is so quiet and gentle and I always struggle to understand him. Anyway, he was happy with my situation and explained that the Tamoxifen is causing menopausal symptoms, it doesnt mean that I am going through the menopause.... He is going to expidite my abdominal scan and praised my GP for taking the right action.
I won't have to see Dr Soe again until December 2011 and after that I will be left in the care of the surgeons. Its all good news, I feel as though I have lived in the unit for 22 months so to have all of this free time is liberating.
After doing my 10K race I hit a bit of a slump. Craving all of the wrong food, having no get up and go. Glad to say that I got it back today and feel very much like myself again.
I have changed gyms because I feel that I have outgrown my old gym, its very small and I want something which will be challenging for me. I have also decided to give a low GI diet a go because I am fed up of diets and want to do something which all of the family can do with me.
My eldest son has decided that he quite likes running having done it at school so I have promised him that I will start to train him.
I have also decided to get my business up and running again although I wont be working evenings as I did before and I will limit myself to one day only.
It has been 6 weeks since I had my last dose of herceptin and one thing I have noticed is that my aches are getting better. That fact got me thinking to my other pesky side effects of cancer treatment and I realised that I no longer suffer from chemo chills, my hand grip is coming back and I am feeling fitter than ever.
I am due to run my first 10K in a couple of weeks time and so far I have raised £455 for The Love Hope Strength Cancer Foundation! I am nervous and excited because once I cross that finish line, I know for a fact that I have beaten cancer.
The other side effects aren't pleasant such as the hot flushes but I read an article which said that if you had these when taking tamoxifen the cancer is less likely to return - bring em on then, thats what I say!
I am starting to think about returning to work as a mobile dog groomer. However, if and when I do return, big changes will have to be made......
I need a smaller and lighter grooming table and a smaller grooming box in which I carry only what I need for the appointment. I will also keep my appointments to one particular day, I thought of a Tuesday because Joe does a ju-jitsu class on that day and I can book Harry into after school club and take my last booking at 3pm.
When I was last running as Clippers and Claws I was a bit of a softy, taking on clients and exhausting myself in the process. This time around I must be tougher, more assertive. Stick to the designated day and time I have decided upon and NO night work!
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