So..... my CT scan yesterday and my MRI scheduled for tomorrow.
I hate all of these tests, I find them invasive of my privacy. All of my intimate secrets revealed for all to see on a piece of film. However without these tests, who knows what could be going on with my body.
I am getting nervous about the operation on Thursday, well, not nervous more like anxious. Until the cancer is removed and studied and until all of the test results are in, I cannot be certain of what I am dealing with.
My last cancer was aggressive this apparently is not as bad so I should be relieved but I'm not. I am angry, frustrated!
I had two years worth of treatment for my last cancer and the last year has been spent getting my life back on track both physically and emotionally. So to be hit with a second cancer diagnosis right now is frankly a low baller!
I don't see how you could go through this again without feeling extreme anger. my first thought was that the anger gives you strength - like in the fight or flight response. so I looked it up on the internet and found this interesting take on anger and found this interesting explanation.( http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/anger/understanding-anger.htm) yes it is normal to feel anger - managing it to give you strength seems to be the challange. thinking of you in Rio.
ReplyDeleteAnger would be the most natural emotion to feel with this. And then a sense of relief that this cancer is not like the first. And then remembering how you conquered the first bout and how you will conquer this one as well. You're a strong woman. You're a fighter. You're Welsh. I'll say no more!!! xoxox
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