I can't explain how it feels to be me right now.
The war is over and I have won but I am not euphoric over my victory because I am exhausted and taking time out to catch my breath and heal my wounds.
How can I be euphoric when so many fellow soldiers have fallen in conflict?
I feel sad for them.
I feel guilty for surviving.
I feel even more guilty when I complain because I am still here and they are not.
The war is won but I am scared to celebrate. .... just in case.
I am enjoying the peace now that the turmoil is over. 6 years of fighting and I can't quite believe that it's over at last.
I am loving the fact that I am still alive.
It puts everything into perspective. You know, those people who want to bring you down ... they don't matter. They are living in their own private misery, a place I don't care to visit or even acknowledge.
The fact that I don't have money or a fancy house. .. doesn't matter.
Gone are the days when I would worry about other people.
I have fought a great fight and I won!
So now, I am taking this time to draw breath and appreciate what has been in preparation for what will be.