Seriously....... Where .... Do ..... I ..... Start???????
What a year!
Glad to see the back of it!!
The year started with a bad feeling I had in my gut. I went for my routine scans on New Years Eve then on New Years Day I found out that the little angel, the dog with whom I found my first cancer lump had died following a sudden illness.
Next.... I received a letter from the council accusing me of running a business from my house without planning permission.... er.... hello?? business? er.... 1 dog a week belonging to a friend if I am lucky!! I have a good idea who did it and I don't hold a grudge because I know that karma has a way of coming back three fold.
During this upset I was diagnosed with a third breast cancer. I was advised to go for a double mastectomy and reconstruction at the same time. I followed all of the advice I was given but forgive the pun.... it all went a bit "tits up".
I developed an infection which spread and had to have two emergency operations. Following the final operation, the stitches became embedded and trapped a nerve. Agony doesn't come near to it.
Just as things are starting to work their way out I start having anxiety and panic attacks along with black feelings.
I can confess on here that I did consider taking my life.
I had started to plan care for my animals and it was only a chance meeting with a 90 year old stranger which pulled me out of this storm and I managed to crawl out.
November comes and a pain in my mums shoulder which we thought was a strain led to her being put on tramadol and cocodemol by her GP, this led to a fall and a bad reaction to the drugs. She was treated for an overdose such was the reaction to the painkillers she had been given. Her liver and kidneys had been affected. The antidote to the tramadol brought on a heart attack and then she developed sepsis.
After a week of fighting and boy she did fight! She really didnt want to leave us! She passed.
So forgive me for not being ready for Christmas.
Its been the shittest year of my life. (With some good bits too!)
PS: I was later told by a plastic surgeon that radiotherapy damaged tissue has a high failure rate with implants. So why was I advised to go down this route given that I have received high doses of radon to both breasts????