Wednesday, 2 July 2014

If I Was an Animal.....

I have been plagued by what I think is, a trapped nerve on my left side. I think its around my hip or sacral area where the fracture is and it shoots down my leg.

Is it painful? yes.

As painful as my existing back pain? yes.

More painful as my existing back pain? nope.

Its on the same pain level as what I live with every day but it feels funny and is more annoying, or agrivating like toothache or a headache.

Its worse when I get up in the morning and turning over during the night.

I have been for a run this morning and I know you will be thinking what a silly thing to do that is if I have these pains but honestly, I find that running helps the pain and loosens me up. I am no Olympic athlete, my pace is very slow compared to what I was before 2009 but I plod along and it makes me feel better.

I ran this morning without music because I wanted to do some thinking.

The sun was shining and everywhere looked green and lush and fresh. 

As I was running I thought about my ailments and realised that if I was an animal I would have been put to sleep a long time ago because I do feel broken.

I feel like a broken toy. 

My parts have been glued back together and great attempts have been made to fix me but you can still see the crack lines and I no longer run efficiently..... I am rather slow with the odd cough and splutter then I stop working for a bit......

I honestly feel like a reject. I feel as though nobody would ever find me remotely attractive ever again.

I am working through these feelings and I am sure that with time will come acceptance but at the moment I feel just like this.

some images courtesy of google search engine

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