Sunday, 4 March 2012

Why Me?

Thats the question I found myself asking last night and for the first time since this second cancer diagnosis I cried.

I think that the whole thing has happened so quickly, I have taken it all in my stride and pushed myself hard. Its only just sunk in that I am recovering from a big operation and it will take weeks to get myself back to normal.

I have a little infection going on in one of the wounds and my arm aches like crazy. The painkillers take the edge off the pain but its still extremely draining.

I am just a bit hacked off as to why I had to get cancer twice. Once is bad enough but twice? I am fed up of scans, tests, drugs and being carved up, the pain is hard to cope with at the moment.

I go to see the surgeon on Thursday and then I will find out the results of all my tests and the operation too. Radiotherapy, another pain in the butt.........


  1. why me needs to be asked...even if there is never an answer. you need to be angry, you need to mourn and grieve and then you come back up and you start moving forward one day at a time. ♥

  2. That you keep writing is positive. Get rid of the anger. Write about it. It's an outlet for you.
    You have been dealt a huge blow and it stinks.
    Do you have someone close that you can talk to. It might help. If not... be sure to talk to your doctor. If he doesn't listen, tell him again until he does. He's suppose to be your advocate.
    This mental stuff is a big part of going through a serious illness. It's key to getting well again.
    It's OK to be mad and to cry... and ask why.
    Let it rip and keep writing.

  3. Ah, Sara, I don't have an answer for you. It is what it is, and you're still breathing. Keep on plodding along. There's nothing else to be done, really...

  4. Hope the pain is beginning to subside.Warm wishes from South Africa...


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