Thursday, 22 March 2012
After the oncologists appointment yesterday I am feeling overwhelmed by it all. My dear friend Sherry is right, I am grieving so much right now.
I got my three year clear on my old cancer and I was so looking forward to getting to five years and being able to celebrate being clear of cancer and not in remission. Then this new cancer decides to invade and I am faced with a whole range of scans, monthly injections into my stomach, radiotherapy and the planning that goes with it and a new drug which has side effects. I have another five years to get through.
I feel as though I was serving a prison sentence and now my time has been extended....
I feel fat and ugly my fingers are swollen and I no longer recognise myself as the person I once was.
I had 12 lots of chemo and 18 lots of herceptin, over 40 canulas wrecking my veins making my hands seize up I honestly dont know if I can take five years worth of stomach injections and the way I feel right now I am close to giving up.
But.... today is Thursday and in a couple of hours time a new day will be dawning and I will be picking myself up, dusting myself down and carrying on as normal.