Four years ago I found the lump in my right breast, surgery and two years of treatment. Five years taking tamoxifen which made my bones ache like I never knew possible. This prompted CT and MRI scans which showed up a crack in my sacral bone.
A year ago following a routine check a new breast cancer was found in my other breast. "Luckily" for me it wasn't as aggressive and so it was "just" surgery and radiotherapy.
A change in hormone tablet to letrozole.
Can you believe it? more pain.......... I aged over night by about about 30 years.
October came and more surgery so at least I wouldn't have to endure those abdominal injections on a monthly basis for 5 years.
A new drug - Arimadex
Still in pain.
Pain in all of my small joints such as fingers and toes, chronic back pain, pain in my right hip, right shoulder and the joint of my right foot big toe.
In addition to this my blood pressure is raised and I now have high cholesterol.
I have a strong family trait of heart disease in both sides of my family but these problems could be the result of the hormone tablets I am taking.
Devil you do - Devil you don't!
So here I am ..... and there it is.......
Live for the moment I say..... live for today. You can't change the past and the future is not yet but now is when is important.
I could be 100% healthy and die randomly like my big brother. Fit.....healthy......young...... killed in a car accident at 25.
All of these things are reminders that you should enjoy what you have got and not worry about what you haven't got.
You've been through the wringer -- and back...indeed. And chronic pain is NOT easy to live with. And yet, your spirit is still strong and your attitude remains positive. This is what makes you special and a shining role model of what can be. Many others would have given in to it all. You haven't. You don't. And you won't. I wish the pain could be taken away for you. As it can't -- I wish you that continued strong spirit and all the love that you deserve. xo
ReplyDeleteHello Sara,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Lydia Llerena, and you and I were pen pals many years ago - back when there were only letters! I don't know if you'll remember me, but I live in Long Beach, California, and you and I corresponded around 1991. Today I was looking through papers on my desk, and I found a bunch of letters from you. It was a joy to re-read them, and I was reminded that we are virtually the same age. My birthday is on December 9th, and I'm 46 years old.
In the letters we seem to talk a lot about music, and going to see bands like the Alarm, the Ramones, and how we were both little punker girls, and liked to party.
I thought I'd look you up and I found your blog!
I would like to re-connect if you would like to. You can write me an e-mail at lllerena@riohondo.edu or find me on facebook.
Take care.
Sincerely,
Lydia