Snowdon Rocks 2012

Love Hope Strength Foundation

The aim of this world wide cancer charity is to provide cancer resources in every country. It also has a huge bone marrow donor drive and Mike is campaigning to reduce the donor age of people in the UK. At the moment you have to be 40 or under whereas in USA its 60. If you follow this LINK you can read a bit more about what the charity is about. 

Fighting cancer one concert at a time.

So thats what we did yesterday, me and Jason.... we joined Love Hope Strength to climb to the summit of Mount Snowdon, the highest mountain in Wales to raise lots of money for this great charity.

We set off in the morning starting with a few words from Mike Peters and some tunes.

It started to rain and soon it was belting it down. By the time we got to the Halfway House we were completely drenched. A sandwich and a drink soon helped lift my mood and then I was amazed as Mike and Chris Summerill and Matt all did a song each.

I had to laugh at Mike and Jules young son, mimicking his dad behind him and when he was asked was he going to be a rock star when he grew up he said very firmly "a footballer".

I found that first trek very difficult mainly because I was over heating and yet having to wear waterproofs to keep me dry. Many times I saw that train on its merry way to the top and I wished I was on there!

It was lovely to see mini versions of Cola on the way up. This little chap was quite happy sleeping whilst being over looked and watched by the rest of his pack.

I especially liked meeting up with friends, Sue O, Shirley G, Joff N, Nigel and Sue A and their daughter, Chris S and his wife and lovely dogs not to mention Dave S! The man with the flag!

People were so friendly going up, it was inspiring to see young and old all going up with one aim in mind - to climb that summit and raise money for this cancer charity.

When we got to the top we were treated to more songs and then a well deserved hot chocolate and a warm before we went out into the elements again.

Mike Peters pictured here singing in the rain and yes he DID climb that flippin mountain with a knee injury!

Do you need inspiration? Do you need a heroe or mentor? Look no further than this man here!!!

Singing at the top - walkers who didn't know what we were about did look rather puzzled. Note to self.... next year - yep you heard me correctly - next year I am going to take some leaflets with me about the charity and when I get talking to people - which we did yesterday I will pass them on to spread the word. Its not just about the money its about raising awareness and getting people to register for bone marrow donorship.

The way down was alot easier and quicker plus the sun came out and by the time we got to the bottom our clothes were bone dry. Apart from my feet which were soggy and I feared a case of trench foot when I took my boots and socks off!

It was nice to be greeted by our mini Cola at the end.

Many people took their dogs up to the summit and thats a great idea, lovely day out for them but one woman (from a different party to LHS) took her 8 month old golden retriever up there and he was refusing to walk down, she had to go and get some food for him to encourage him.

NOTE: Dogs under the age of 1 years old should not be subjected to strenuous exercise which includes running with you, mountain walks or anything lasting a considerable amount of time. The reason for this is simple.... they are still growing and their bones are forming. Any exertion can cause skeletol problems later on in life. Always consult your vet before taking your dog on a walk such as this.

I didn't take my dogs for these reasons:-

Pickles - she is just over 8 years old and has always been stiff she isn't suited to such walks

Wilbur - is recovering from the back infection he had and is not fit enough as yet

Snowy - is only 9 months old and too young to tackle it

It was a great day and an achievement for me with the fun I have had this year so far !!!!

Money raised from this walk will be going to the North Wales Cancer Unit to improve the lives of cancer patients in this part of my country.

And on that note, I leave you with Chris Summerill - his next CD is out soon so he tells me!!!! Can't wait!!

Nordic Walking and Breast Cancer

I loved running, it gave me something to aim for something to achieve.

When I was diagnosed with stage 3 Breast Cancer in 2009 I was ready to run my first 10K race but with surgery and 12 doses of chemo, I was unable to realise my ambition.

The bruising caused by the biopsy and then the operation which although was a lumpectomy given the size of the lump and breast reconstruction using tissue from my other size left me not only with painful surgery scars but trauma on both breasts. This meant that moving was painful for many weeks.

After my first lot of chemo I felt OK so I gave a short run a go..... I was laid up in bed for days afterwards.

The build up of chemo then made me feel worse and worse each time.

The long and short of it was that after cancer treatment I was the unfittest I have ever been in my entire life.

I wasn't going to let cancer beat me though and I focused on getting my first 10K under my belt which I did at the end of 2010 and raised nearly £800 for a cancer charity Love Hope Strength Foundation.

At that point in my life I had received radiotherapy to my breast, I had received 18 lots of herceptin and had been on tamoxifen for a year. This is when everything went to pieces. My back became incredibly painful and by the end of 2011 I was unable to run - even walking was a problem.

At the start of 2012 I was diagnosed with a new breast cancer in my other side. Surgery, radiotherapy and a change in my hormonal treatment.

Through trial and error with pain relief I eventually found a solution which was workable and last month I began a course of physiotherapy working on strengthening my core.

I realised that running wasn't an option for me at this particular time in my life, I needed to get my core strong first. Also, my CT and MRI scans revealed a crack in my back which although an old injury with the drugs I am taking now - Zolodex to put me into a false menopause and Letrozil to suppress oestrogen give me the risk of osteoporosis.

I became very down, depressed and frustrated. I really really did need to run, I needed something to aim for.

This is when I discovered Nordic walking.

I contacted Nordic Walking UK and found myself a lovely instructor and went on a taster session.

Its amazing!

It makes you walk correctly so it promotes good posture and it really does work your core muscles.

It uses more muscles than running does and can induce the runners high that I so miss.

I feel invigorated and hopeful for a new and fitter future.

I have purchased a "cheap" set of Nordic poles and once the children are back at school I am looking forward to putting a training plan in place.

The Malt House in Talybont-on-Usk

We have just returned home from a fabulous weekend away, my husband, friends and I. We travelled to South Wales in order to celebrate our mutual friends wedding.

We needed somewhere to stay and my friend found this Bread and Breakfast on the Internet.

The Malt House in Talybont-On-Usk was gorgeous. The house itself was old and full of character. It had a large living room which guests were able to use and watch television. There were french doors leading onto a patio and lawned area along with a pleasing water feature and a heated outdoor swimming pool available for use.

The River Usk ran next to the house which was pretty and relaxing to watch and listen too.

The proprietor Mike Bugler and his wife were friendly and accommodating, a real mine of information. They made their own honey and the gardens were pretty although we didn't have the opportunity to explore them fully.

The breakfast in the morning was served between 8am and 10am and consisted of a selection of cereals, yogurts, locally produced apple juice, orange juice, tea/coffee, toast with a selection of accompaniments such as nutella, marmite, marmalade and their own honey, and a full English breakfast. Everything was cooked to perfection and served pleasingly.

We definitely want to return here so that we can explore the area fully. The views were stunning and I would recommend this B&B to anyone wishing to stay in that area.

CT Scan Results

Went into hospital today for the results of the CT scan. Dr Soe was very happy, smiley, bouncy and told me that my bones were clear. However, there was a visible line on my sacram which is the triangular shaped bone at the bottom of your spine which slots into the pelvis.

He explained that cancer shows up as "spots" on the bones, or a cluster of spots and rarely in a line. The line indicates a fracture and he asked whether I had had an accident.

I have had a problem with that side of my back since I was young so anything could have caused it, indeed I have had many falls off horses in my time. Chemotherapy and hormone therapy plus my rush into exercise post treatment has probably aggrivated the problem.

Sadly, there is no treatment for a fracture in this part of the spine but at least I will be able to go to the orthopedic section fore armed and ask them for a plan for me to get back to my old activities such as running, horse riding and walking.

No wonder I have been in so much pain! So much for having a high pain threshold, certainly doesnt do you any favours. BUT its not cancer!

2 days and Counting!!!

I have been fighting a viral infection over Christmas. One thing I have noticed since cancer, I just can't fight off infections the way I used to.

I must admit that today I was very upset, couldn't stop crying. I just want to be the Sara I was before I had cancer. Since 3 years ago next month my health seems to have been in a steady decline. I have never in my life been so fat, unfit and unhealthy. I feel so ugly all through.

Today I did wonder what the point of it all was, I really couldn't see what quality of life I have anymore. I really did lose my fight today.

So I thought about Mike Peters, I thought about other friends, had a good cry, a good moan and then came back fighting!

This year has been a difficult one for me on a lot of levels. You would have thought that 2009 or 2010 would have been worse but having finished the radical part of cancer treatment I am suddenly plunged in at the deep end tryind desperately to stay afloat.

On January 5th 2011, Poppy was run over by a tractor and died in my arms. The memory of that day haunts me. Her head looking up from the road looking for me, scooping her up into my arms, our eyes connected, she relaxed because she was with me and she died. That was the start of a terrible year.

On 14th May I lost the lynch pin of our family, my Auntie Heather. Very suddenly at the age of 65. She has always been a part of my life, always been there for us all giving support freely. Such a kind and loving person with a wicked sense of humour, I still can't believe that she is no longer with us.

I was let down by people I thought were my friends this year too. They told lies about me and attacked me on FB without due cause. If those people have the audacity to read my blog then you know who you are and shame on you.

I would refer to yet another Mike Peters song at this point so take heed and listen if you dare.



"I've been accused of being things I'm not......"

On top of this I have had a couple of cancer scares coupled with excrutiating back pain which has led me to give up my running, walking and riding.

The year finishes on the note it started.

However, in January I have a scheduled bone scan which is purely precautional, I have an orthopedic appointment to look into my back problems and my mammogram which I hope will declare me 3 years in remission!

The pain killers my doctor has prescribed me are working so once this stupid infection is gone I am hoping to be climbing the rosy slopes to good health!

See you in the new year!

Tests!

What a week I had last week. As you know I am suffering chronic back pain, it comes and goes depending on how active I am. This has resulted in me cutting back my walking and I have stopped running.

Last Wednesday I had a scheduled appointment with my oncologist and I explained the problem to him. He took the matter very seriously although not at the pain front! He organised a spine Xray and blood tests straight away and asked me to come back to clinic for the results.

Thankfully, he greeted me with huge smiles saying that he is confident that the bone scan scheduled for a later date will not show up any signs of cancer in the bones.

I visited my GP the next day and in fairness she was brilliant. She has given me a range of pain medication instructing me to start off with low doses and working my way up until my pain is under control.

I didn't realise just how much pain I have been in until those painkillers kicked in. My mood instantly lifted because at last, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I can start riding my pony again, running and walking.... in short I can get my life back!

One thing that Dr Soe's reaction to my back pain did, was made me realise the grade and severity of my cancer. It was quite a sobering thought.

I also met a friend from breast cancer support and she had an elective double mastectomy after finding a low grade lump in her breast. She has a family history of breast cancer. She wasn't given chemo just the tamoxifen which she had to stop after she lost her voice and had other complicated side effects. She was facing another operation last Friday to remove a tumour from her rib cage..... This meeting made me realise that coming off tamoxifen for me is a big NO.

So next month will be 3 years since I found my lump on 16th January, on 4th February it will be 3 years since official diagnosis. I have a mammogram scheduled for the back end of January and I am hoping that I will be reporting my 3 year in remission!

Many hospital visits in January..... bone scan, mammogram and orthopedics.

I thought I was ok....

When you have almost 3 years under your belt having fought cancer, you are feeling good about yourself and you feel quite fit.... its easy to think "ha, I don't need to take those meds anymore......"

Thats exactly what I thought about my lanzoprazol.

You see, chemotherapy is still quite raw.... its job is to kill rapidly forming cells but because of its nature not only does it attack cancer cells, it also attacks and kills good cells which is why you get hair loss, nail problems etc.

One side effect I suffered with was my digestion. Chemo completely f***** it up for want of a better phrase. It has damaged the lining of my stomach, probably indefinately and as a result the acid from my stomach comes up into my chest resulting in a great deal of pain. The tablets limit the amount of acid your body makes so that you don't get these attacks.

I thought I was over it all and stopped taking the tablets which was a huge mistake.

At the weekend I was away in South Wales with friends at a 4th Street Traffik gig for Halloween. What a brilliant night but it was spoilt by the worst reflux attack I have experienced in my entire life. I couldn't keep anything down, my throat burned and I haven't been able to eat or drink for 3-4 days.

That will teach me won't it! I think I have finally accepted that I will never be the same person I was before 16th January 2009.

I looked up the effects that tamoxifen has on your body too mainly because I am suffering with severe back ache which gets worse the more active I am. Apparently its typically hormonal but it induces mild sciatica. The pain is almost unbearable at times only eased by pain killers, volturol gel and periods of rest. This is one of the side effects of the drug. In addition to this, it can cause damage to the eye which has settled a problem I have had with night driving. So my eye test is duly booked.

I won't give up though, the hell I will!!!!!

I will not give up horse riding, running or walking. I refuse to take things easy. I have stared my mortality right in the eye and come back fighting.

Life is precious, its for living and loving and appreciating every damned second you have in this life pain or not.

Each New Day

 Each new day has something special to give to you, a lesson to be learnt or a new discovery.

 Every day is special for me. I always try to find something in it that I can recall and think "that was good". It may be a little boy rolling around on the school playground, a baby calf being licked clean by its mother or a friendly comment.

 The happiness of others. Happiness and positivity are contagious so forget your misfortune and saddness, look for the beauty in that day, accept it with a smile and grow from it.

Each new day I thank my stars for my beautiful sons, for living in a free country, for having legs so that I can walk and run, eyes so that I can see the beauty in all that is around me and ears so that I can listen to all of the things which give me pleasure.

At Least a Stone to Lose

This picture was taken of me about 15 years ago and that is the size I want to be again. To be that size I will have to lose a stone in weight.

I have a condition called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome which was diagnosed when I was trying to start a family but couldn't. I knew something was wrong anyway because I went from a tiny, slender girl to a plump one with boobs literally overnight... well... in a space ofn 3 months. I might add that this was after I had suffered a breakdown following the death of my brother and I had an eating dishorder. Once I started to eat again thats when things went wrong.

I have battled with my weight since that time but I got to goal after I had Harry and remained there until I decided to have the meriner coil fitted which has hormones in it. From the time it was fitted to the time I had it removed I piled on 2 and a half stone in weight. I was just starting to get rid of it when I had my cancer diagnosis.

I have now lost all the cancer weight but now I am in that position where I need to get rid of the hormone weight.

Its so hard especially when you hit a plateau like I have.

When the children return to school in September I can get my old routines back in place... dog walking, running and riding then hopefully, by Christmas I will have reached my goal.

Lets continue our walk....

The Castle has been lived in since it was built by Edward I in order to keep the welsh in place. During the civil war the castle was ordered to be raised to the ground by Oliver Cromwell and alot of the castle was damaged. The Middleton family lived in the castle until a couple of years ago and still have apartments in the Batchelor Tower. This view was taken from the buildings previously unseen by the public.

I love this part of the garden, it is full of colour and life. The picture doesn't do it justice.

Down one of the many footpaths you stumble upon the gravestones of pets who once belonged to the Castle.

A little further on and you come to the thatched summer house.

The flowers were breathtaking! The perfume off them was devine.

No garden would be complete without a water feature!

Let me take you for a walk.......

Yesterday, my husband and I spent the afternoon in Chirk Castle which is local to us. We went there for lunch then enjoyed a peaceful walk around the gardens. I took so many photographs, way too many for one post so I will take you on a walk with me around the gardens over a few postings!

This flower caught my eye instantly because of its colour - it was so beautiful, reminding me of blue skies or blue oceans....

This little fella was sitting all on his own on the other side of the ditch! He had his head tilted at a very cheeky angle!

A little place to sit and chill tucked neatly away right at the edge of the gardens. We sat there for a while listening to nothing - no cars, no children, no dogs barking, no people...... It was devine!

Goodbye and Hello

I have blogged my last blog on Cancer Aint Gonna Beat Me, because it didnt, and I want to put that part of my life into the past. I know that I am still having treatment, I have 6 more infusions of herceptin which will take me to October 2010 but I feel as though I have moved on now.

New side effects I am experiencing in this hot weather is pain in my hands. I have been to the GP and he doesn't think that it is arthritus but a side effect of the herceptin so I will be discussing this with the oncologist next week.

I had a very interesting weekend. We had highs in temperature of 27 degrees so it was too hot to ride but we ended up in the ruins of Caegwrle castle http://www.castlewales.com/hope.html from 9.30pm until 1.30am on a Ghost Hunt. We did make contact with quite a few souls, too many to list in great detail but we did meet a welsh speaking spirit. It was a really interesting night but lovely to be sitting amongst ancient ruins with our tea light candles burning on the stone.

I did the Race for Life on Sunday and even at 11am temperatures were at 27 degrees so I decided to power walk rather than run. I did the 5K in 40 mins which was quite good. I was amazed at the amount of women who were running the course and it was obvious that they had never run before, there were many with incorrect footwear!

I thoroughly enjoyed the event, the warm up was fun and so was the walk. It was sad to see pictures and names of those who had died and in my own little way, I fought back at the sadness because I dedicated my RFL to myself - one year survivor. SURVIVOR - I like that word.