A Week Ago

This time last week I was still in the operating theatre having my Ooporectomy. A week has gone by and I don't regret it for a moment. It was the right thing to do and now I have the rest of my life to look forward to with no cancer baggage weighing me down in the form of monthly Zolodex injections.

This picture was taken a couple of days after the surgery. This is the op site on my right side, there is a smaller one on my left and one inside my naval.

The stitches are disolveable so no worries there about having them taken out.

The stitches are starting to break up now and I will be glad when they have gone because the op sites are sore. It's not too bad really its just that I worry about infection.

My lumpectomies and nodal sweep operations were far more painful than this op so I am hoping to be back in some sort of action in a week.

So the future for me is bright! No more Zolodex injections! (note to self: must phone the district nurse to let her know!).

I am looking forward to getting back into work, getting my dog grooming business up and running again.

Today is a Gift...

Kung Fu Panda

Ah.... what a film!!

These films are a bit like Enid Blyton stories where there is a moral within them.

I love this scene because the quote: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift" is such a brilliant saying to live by. A interpretation of what Jesus tells us to do, to think of today not tomorrow.

I think thats what we forget to do really. We tend to live in the past and worry about the future and whats the point? We can't change the past, its happened, its done with, we must accept and learn from it. We can't predict the future its so "unknown" but what we can do is live for today.

Today we have been blessed with all that we have and today is a day for making memories, good memories and happy times.

Don't worry about the future because we don't have ultimate control over it, what will be will be.

Ah... a memory comes to me.......

I was a little girl and I used to walk home from school across a small road, on the way, old Mr Jones would be standing at his wooden gate. He couldn't walk far because he was very old and had poorly feet. I think he may have been a litte senile too because he would always ask me my name. When I told him my name was .....

Sara

He would serendade me with this song..........

and give me a ..................

I often wonder what happened to Mr Jones.

Respect

Moving on from my surgery and cancer for this post, I am going to talk about something which has been on my mind for a while now. Its a simple but not so simple thing called.....

RESPECT

Respect comes in many shapes and forms. It is so subtle it becomes like living and breathing... or.... so it should.

Life has changed vastly in the last 20 years and one of the major changes is the change in respect.

Respect for yourself

Respect for others

Respect for authority

The list could go on.

I am not considered THAT old but I do remember as a "young lady" having doors held open for me.

I also remember gentleman "tipping" their hat to me, or if they didn't have a hat they would tug their forelock (and if they didn't have any hair they would pretend to).

Sadly, an example of the fact that this doesn't happen any more is my inability to find "modern" pictures on google for this act.

I must say, the last time a gentleman tipped his had to me was about 10 years ago and this person must have been in his late 90's in age but it made me feel so special and feminine.

My husband is a stickler for gentlemanly behaviour and he always ensures that he is walking on the outside of the pavement, that he pulls my chair for me when we sit down to eat, he allows me to sit first, holds the door open for me and generally makes me feel loved and cherished.

Respect as I started off with though comes in many forms and features throughout our lives.

Respect of others is something I feel very strongly about even though it might not be reciprocated. I was always brought up to imagine myself in the other persons shoes, and how I would feel.... I was also brought up to think "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and these days I always go by the quote "judge not lest ye be judged".

It shocks and upsets me deeply when others, especially those who I once called friends do not have my way of thinking.

Respect of others comes in many guises: giving up your seat for an older person, making way for people coming in your direction, simple terms such as "excuse me" or "thank you". 

These days I am fed up of being confronted by people who barge along the street as though you are not there.

Respect for yourself.

Letting your standards fall.

Respect for your body.

Rules have changed and attitudes have changed so that "freedom" is the key without regard to humanity, disease the affect on others.

Today the attitude seems to be "I want, I am entitled to, I can"

I love this picture because it says everything that I want to say without words, it says just what I see is happening and I am helpless to stop it.

I can see that attitudes have changed vastly since I was young. Youngsters are no longer interested in the things that drove me.... equality, fairness, poverty, jobs!!!!

These days people seem to thing (and this is a general ism) that that world owes them!!

The world owes nobody anything. We come into the world with nothing, we go out with nothing, what we do in between is up to us with a little bit of luck.

You have your hands.

And in the worlds of "Mike Peters" of "The Alarm" and the song "Spirit of 76".... I was from those times.......

"I'll carve a future with my two bare hands......"

Thank you for reading - I will now get off my soap box!

Pictures courtesy of google search

Post Surgery

Things are starting to click into place. 

My body is functioning as it should post surgery so that has been a huge relief I can tell you. However, I do like the taste of peppermint tea, its very refreshing!

The pain is ok, getting better and better each day and I hate to repeat myself but not as painful as my breast surgery.

This fact really amazes me because when I had my last breast operation in January, the ladies in my ward who had received similar surgeries were incapacitated, that fact and the fact that the doctors and consultants made me think that this was a serious surgery has really surprised me but in a nice way.

I really hated my surgery in January because I felt cheated. I felt as though it shouldn't have happened, it wasn't fair and therefore I begrudged every second I had to recuperate. 

This time I know I am going to be up and about soon and so I have a huge smile on my face!

The scars wont be too bad either.

One is actually in my belly button and that is where the camera was placed then I have two on either side of my tummy. One side has just one stitch in and the other has three.

I am led to believe (although I haven't been told officially) that both ovaries would have been taken out of the one side which I suppose is why one side is sorer than the other.

The sun is shining today and I feel as light as a feather.

A curtain has been lifted off my life.

And at last I really can see a future.......

Pictures courtesy of Google

Oophorectomy

I wanted an Oophorectomy. This is an operation to remove my ovaries.

Having had a second breast cancer the oncologist decided to put me on Zolodex injections for 5 years. This injection stops the ovaries from working and put me into a false menopause.

I tried the 3 monthly injection but being a small person it hurt and I began to get panic attacks. I opted for the monthly injection and the thought of having that every month for the next five years really upset me. I felt as though I was still having cancer treatment which, in effect, I was! I felt as though my life was on hold, yet again and I couldn't move on. Bearing this in mind I pushed for the Oophorectomy.

I must say that the doctors and consultants were very obstructive. They seemed to stress the severity of such surgery, they were quick to point out the pit falls and even on the actual day of my surgery the consultant interrogated me, I felt as though I was on trial!!!!

I think they didn't want to make the decision easy for me because given my age, it is huge thing to decide and its permanent - no going back.

Hey, I have two gorgeous boys and I am the wrong side of 40 to be considering more babies indeed, another pregnancy could trigger off a third cancer and I am not going to risk that for anything.

Another thing I couldn't face the thought of was having the injections for 5 years, being in a menopausal state for 5 years then starting again..... the possibility of another cancer with that start then going through the menopause naturally - far too much for me to deal with given the 2 years of treatment for my first cancer.

I had the procedure on Tuesday 23rd October.

I went into surgery at 11.30 and was coming out of it at about 1pm.

I had a nebulizer before going in for the op because of my asthma and this opened my airways.

Before they put you under they check all of your details and ask you what op you are going in for - I suppose mistakes have been made in the past!

When I was taken to Bonny Ward in Wrexham Hospital I was surprised at the pain level of the op site.

Having had two big operations for breast cancer and been in alot of pain with them, I thought that with this being invasive surgery in my tummy and all the fuss the doctors made that I was going to be in agony. What a pleasant surprise it was to have pain similar to child birth really but not griping and grabbing like contractions. Not anywhere near as painful as the breast surgery.

I am on day 2 post op now and I am feeling fine. The pain is easing and I can move about albeit at a slower pace.

I am resting as much as I can because I am so so tired and am hoping that by the weekend I will be out and about almost as normal.

As for all of the horrible side effects the doctors were telling me about, well..... just the same as being on Zolodex! Bearable, you just have to plan things differently..... Fans, water sprays, layers of clothes etc etc etc

I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

When I recover from this surgery I will have my life back, its like a fresh start.