I haven't been writing much recently.... not because I haven't got anything to write about but because life has kind of sabotaged my emotions and my head has not been in a good place.
However, this weekend at The Gathering in Llandudno, I was asked why had I stopped writing.
Later on in the day I retreated into my shed, I dimmed the lights and then I consulted my cards... I asked for guidance on where I should be going with my life and the cards I drew were guiding me towards healing and counselling through the medium of writing.... interesting!
I have decided to try and make a habit of writing as often as I can because if it helps just one person with their battles in life then it has served its purpose.
I must admit, I didn't think anyone read my ramblings which is another reason for not writing as much.
I have been experiencing some dark times emotionally and felt that I couldn't perform reiki or angel therapy but I see now that I should not have blocked myself and turned myself off, healing others with such beautiful energies in turn heals yourself.
The title of this blog is a bit weird but I do feel as though I hit a hump and now I am over it and on a homeward stretch.
This weekend I had the privilege of watching the most amazing man in rock and roll perform over two nights. This man is battling cancer for the third time in his life.
Friends have commented about how Mike is dealing with this third cancer, maybe not doing so well with the chemo, maybe being more cautious..... I don't know, all I know is how I felt when I was diagnosed with cancer for the third time.
The first time you are diagnosed is like hitting a wall at 100mph. You ask "why me?" then when the shock has worn off you just throw yourself into positivity and treatment because you know that "cancer ain't gonna beat you" (my first blog).
The second time you are diagnosed is like being pushed into a hedge and you feel slightly dazzled, winded and you think "this isn't fair" but you pick yourself up, you dust yourself down and you throw yourself into positivity and treatment but now you feel as though you have a monkey on your back.....
Things go well and you feel great with life then out of the blue you are given a third cancer diagnosis.
This for me was like being beaten to the ground and given a good kicking. This time I metaphorically lay on the ground, dazed and shattered.... now this cancer thing is very real.
I am lucky in that I have had surgery and treatment and can be considered in remission or cancer free..... but that third cancer diagnosis changes you deeply. You no longer feel invincible, theres that sword of Damocles hanging over your head......
This is not a morbid post..... I think that feeling this way is something that I have struggled with but now I realise that life is even more precious and each moment needs to count, each breath you take needs to be relished.
Nobody knows what life has in store for them, there is no plan... Each new day of your life is a blank page and the future isn't known, you just have to keep turning the pages with faith and positivity.
Photos bar 1 courtesy of Google Search